Am I a basket case?

[defenestrate]

I am 21 years old. I currently have no friends. I have never had a girlfriend ever. I'm a virgin. I live with my dad. I don't work or go to college or do anything except sit in my room all day watching television and surfing the internet. I have extreme social anxiety disorder. I have a big fear of rejection. I have no confidence. I have absolutely no life. I don't feel depressed though. In fact I've been living this way as a hermit for so long I'm beginning to like it. I don't want to like it though. I want to have friends, a girlfriend, a job, a life. I don't know where to start. I have been to many therapists and taken several medications over the years and nothing has seemed to help in the slightest.
I'm not repulsive or anything. Actually I have been asked out by many girls before, but I just can't do it. I have no social skills whatsoever. I can't make small talk or any talk at all. I come off as jerk a lot even though I don't intend to be. The internet is the only place I can talk. I don't even answer the phone anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know how long my dad will let me live in his house as a bum.
That's pretty much it. That's been my whole life since I was about 12.
I have not exaggerated one bit in this post.
Does anyone have any thoughts on what I could do to turn my life around?

[soulerflare]

Hello,

You are definitely not a basket case. I hope you won't mind if I speak very plainly, but respectfully.

I had periods in my life where my circumstances were very much the same as yours is right now. I became seriously ill and nearly died in my early 20s, couldn't keep a job, and had to move home with my parents more than once.

Today I have a wonderful wife and family, a good job with a Fortune 100 company, and growing business.

Two things kept me going and ultimately got me turned around - curiosity and choice.

I was curious why I was here and what this life was all about. I figured all of this must have some kind of meaning and I began to search for it. My first steps into my new life were a simple exploration of the meaning of life.

The second was choice. At one point, in a very dark moment, I just told myself that I was going to make a go of living in the real world no matter how insecure I was about it.

It sounds a little dramatic now, but it was New Year's Eve 1993. I was sitting alone in a dark house and something inside me clicked. I was determined not to live this way anymore. I had no money, no job, no car. I didn't know what I was going to do, only that I was going to make a change.

I cannot even begin to describe the magic of the 14 year ride that has followed. I have not conquered all my demons, but I have learned to have them and live life anyway.

There really is something to this idea that our thinking creates our world. Right now your thinking is all about you. Your problems, your concerns, your insecurities...believe me I know...I've been there. Your whole world is pretty much in your mind.

The fact is that when you get out and interact with the world you find out two things very quickly. First, everyone else is just as scared and insecure as you are...they just may be better at hiding it. Two, you find out that they are much more focused on their own issues than on you.

You see, no one is or ever will be as critical of you as you are of yourself. I am convinced that there is a meaning to it all and you have some unique contribution to make. Your current experience has simply provided the unique "training" you have needed to accomplish it. Someday your experiences are going to help someone else.

Take the first, frightening step on faith and you will be surprised at how much falls into place. Focus on things beyond yourself and outside of your head. Take an interest in other people and things and you will see change.

There is an old Buddhist saying that states, "When the student is ready the teacher appears."

The fact that you got on this Internet board and asked the question is an indication that you already know the answer. Stop thinking and start acting.

Anything is possible!

Peace...

Ray
The Affirmation Spot

[minxy]

hello defenestrate and soulerflare , well nice to have u both here and defenestrate well i would also recommed the same as soulerflare said , so start opening up by posting some good post and interacting with the members over here ,cuz all the members over here are really helpfull and u would really enjoy over here .

take care and keep smiling,
thanks,
minxy.