sam
10-18-2007, 05:40 PM
More solutions for helping out
Learn About the Anxiety Disorder
If you're not willing to read more about the disorder, then you're not ready to be a support person. A good place to start is this Web site as well as all the Web sites linked from here. There are also numerous books on the subject. However, there are many ways to look at these conditions, so ask the recovering person what he or she recommends. If you both read the same materials, you will be approaching the recovery process from the same angle. You need not read absolutely everything that the recovery person reads, but do continue to update your knowledge with current research. Also, it is worth your while to attend some support groups, either online or offline. You need to do this if you want to get a better insight into how it feels to have an anxiety disorder.
You also will find that the person you're helping is not alone with these symptoms and thoughts. Do not assume that you understand anxiety disorders just because you know one person with an anxiety disorder.
Understand the Person's Recovery Goals
The person you're helping should have specific recovery goals. If not, it's time to make some. Consider using Edmund J. Bourne's The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook for help with creating a concrete recovery plan. Ideally, the person should be creating such a plan with the help of a therapist. Goals should be flexible but specific. Then, see how you (and the rest of the support system) fit into the plan.
Make Specific Time Commitments
Once you understand the person's recovery goals, be specific about what you can and cannot do. Set aside a time to sit down and talk about this process. Again, be flexible, but only change if something truly isn't working. Understand how your time will help with a specific recovery goal. An example is with agoraphobia desensitization. You could commit a specific time three times a week to help with a specific desensitization process (grocery shopping perhaps).
Be Honest
If you over-commit yourself, be upfront about it. Be ready to offer alternatives. If you're burning out, tell the person. And offer solutions. If you feel the relationship is suffering, talk about it. Decide what you can do about it. Don't wait until it's too late.
Take Care of Yourself
You care a lot about the person you're helping or you wouldn't be helping. But remember that you'll be of no use to that person if you let yourself become ill, whether it's emotionally or physically. Consider seeing a therapist yourself for a while. Learn about stress management (all those relaxation exercises the recovering person is learning are good for everyone!). Do what you need to do first. Consider the support process as another part of your life rather than your whole life.
And to the Recovering Person . . .
These suggestions have been as much for you as they have been for the support person. Help the person help you by considering the suggestions I've given here.
thanks,
sam.
Learn About the Anxiety Disorder
If you're not willing to read more about the disorder, then you're not ready to be a support person. A good place to start is this Web site as well as all the Web sites linked from here. There are also numerous books on the subject. However, there are many ways to look at these conditions, so ask the recovering person what he or she recommends. If you both read the same materials, you will be approaching the recovery process from the same angle. You need not read absolutely everything that the recovery person reads, but do continue to update your knowledge with current research. Also, it is worth your while to attend some support groups, either online or offline. You need to do this if you want to get a better insight into how it feels to have an anxiety disorder.
You also will find that the person you're helping is not alone with these symptoms and thoughts. Do not assume that you understand anxiety disorders just because you know one person with an anxiety disorder.
Understand the Person's Recovery Goals
The person you're helping should have specific recovery goals. If not, it's time to make some. Consider using Edmund J. Bourne's The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook for help with creating a concrete recovery plan. Ideally, the person should be creating such a plan with the help of a therapist. Goals should be flexible but specific. Then, see how you (and the rest of the support system) fit into the plan.
Make Specific Time Commitments
Once you understand the person's recovery goals, be specific about what you can and cannot do. Set aside a time to sit down and talk about this process. Again, be flexible, but only change if something truly isn't working. Understand how your time will help with a specific recovery goal. An example is with agoraphobia desensitization. You could commit a specific time three times a week to help with a specific desensitization process (grocery shopping perhaps).
Be Honest
If you over-commit yourself, be upfront about it. Be ready to offer alternatives. If you're burning out, tell the person. And offer solutions. If you feel the relationship is suffering, talk about it. Decide what you can do about it. Don't wait until it's too late.
Take Care of Yourself
You care a lot about the person you're helping or you wouldn't be helping. But remember that you'll be of no use to that person if you let yourself become ill, whether it's emotionally or physically. Consider seeing a therapist yourself for a while. Learn about stress management (all those relaxation exercises the recovering person is learning are good for everyone!). Do what you need to do first. Consider the support process as another part of your life rather than your whole life.
And to the Recovering Person . . .
These suggestions have been as much for you as they have been for the support person. Help the person help you by considering the suggestions I've given here.
thanks,
sam.