Scared to sleep

[Loute]

When I was with my now ex some bad things used to happen in my bedroom.

After he'd moved out I found that I was aware of the time constantly counting down the time until it'd be time for me to try and get some sleep. I started to check around my house for him (I don't know if it was him or just anything but I'm not sure what I was really looking for) it got into a pattern so I'd check and get into bed but if I got up or went out of my room after that, I'd have to check the house again. I lay in bed and I get so terrified that I'd throw up.

I've tried to fix it - I re-arranged the furniture, re-decorated, bought new bedsheets, I tried living with a room mate for a while, got a night light and a dog for company and then I started to bring men home with me from bars so I wouldn't have to spend the night alone.

I haven't had any help for what happened but I couldn't open up to a therapist or anyone that easily and talk about things truthfully, I'd hold stuff back if I thought they would laugh at me for thinking like that or judge me by what I told them.

Can anyone suggest any other solutions that I could try by myself for the time being?

[minxy]

hello Loute, well read ur problems , it looks u have been really close to ur ex-bf and i feel u need to talk with ur ex abt it and try to become good friends cuz that would really help u in getting out of it.
take care and keep smiling,
thanks,
minxy.

[Loute]

Hey, Minxy. I think you might have misunderstood what I was trying to say. My ex is the reason I am scared, talking to him or being friends with him wouldn't solve anything, infact I'm happy with never having to see him or speak to him again.

[minxy]

hello loute , than the other way out is only by getting busy or involved in some activities and try to forget abt ur past , it wont be easy but not impossible and make some new friends and enjoy life fullest .

take care and be similing,
thanks,
minxy.