minxy
10-31-2008, 02:15 PM
For most children, playschool is the dawn of education.
Playschool has gained in popularity as more and more women have started venturing out to work in over the last few decades. As a mainstream option, it’s a fairly modern educational phenomenon.
Because of this, many parents themselves have never attended playschool and have directly stepped in kindergarten. But even if you did go, it’s likely that the memories are a bit fuzzy, leaving you with questions about what your child will encounter when he gets there.
What is Separation Anxiety?
The day finally arrives and instead of being enthusiastic as expected, your child has glued himself to your side, reluctant to enter the classroom. Your child refuses to go to school, crying and pleading, as you depart. He may feign illness, usually with complaints as, “My tummy aches”. Toddlers, and even some preschoolers, will display their fears of separation anxiety by becoming clingy, crying, vomitting and even a full-blown temper tantrum when a parent tries to leave.
Unfortunately, it fills a parent with a huge dose of guilt, feelings of helplessness and leaves both, children and the parent, exhausted. Dear parents, it is normal for children to sometimes feel anxious or apprehensive when separated from their parents. All children have what is called separation anxiety.
But, if your child is one who gets easily stressed, he might need more preparation in comparison with other kids. Sometimes some kids are perfectly at ease, cheerfully kissing goodbye on the first day, but on the second day they burst into tears as parents are leaving... Separation anxiety is also very common in nursery children when they join school after a long vacation break. It’s coined as school blues.
When Separation Anxiety starts:
Separation anxiety can start at 6 to 9 months, and can last through early toddler hood. It typically coincides, when baby understands the concept of object permanence.
Your baby has just distinguished himself as a separate person, and has learned to remember important people in his life, like his mom and dad. When mom and dad leave, he panics because he thinks they have disappeared. A toddler is not able to understand what the absence of a parent means. To a very small child, “out of sight” may be conceptualized as “gone forever”. According to Brenda Nixon, parenting speaker and author of Parenting Power in the Early Years, stranger anxiety and its cousin, separation anxiety, won’t last forever, but may continue to occasionally make an appearance for as long as five years. The good news is that it’s also a perfectly normal reaction that shows that your child is beginning to understand some very fundamental facts about his or her little world.
How can I prepare my child for school or deal with normal school blues?
Here are some easy to implement techniques:
If your child will soon head off to playschool and hasn’t been part of a group before, a little advance work will help pave the way. Introduce your child to crowds. Your child will be less intimidated by a raucous classroom, if he’s been exposed to noisy situations that are fun. Take him to a public garden, a swimming pool or any other place where he/she meets other kids.
Help him by creating a story about a little boy who goes to kindergarten. Start with, “Once upon a time there was a little boy who goes to school.” Mention in the story how mom takes him to the school, successfully finding his classroom. Weave into the story how the character in the story makes friends of his age and enjoys activities with a friendly teacher who will make him play.
A child is quick in sensing a parent’s mixed feelings regarding the separation. If you feel guilty about leaving your child, he may pick up signals of your own conflict or anxiety and aim his behaviour at controlling the situation instead of coping with it.
Try not to appear anxious in front of your child when you are leaving him. Children feed on their parents emotions. It’s imperative that as the parent, you stay assured and confident. If the child sees an upset parent, it will only heighten the child’s emotions.
With practice separations, tell your baby that you will be going to another room and that you’ll be back soon. If there’s crying, repeat the reassurance that you’ll be back soon. Then pop back in smiling and say, “Hello”. “Bye-bye”. Gradually make these practice separations longer and longer. The child will learn that you’ll come and that it’s okay when you are gone for a bit.
Try not to get annoyed by your child’s whining and clinging. Endure the tears and tantrums. The fact that your toddler makes such a fuss when you leave shows that she/he loves you. React with understanding and patience. (“I know you don’t want me to leave, but I will be back soon”) instead of stating (“Oh, you’re so silly to cry like that”) or annoyance (“You make me feel so mad when you cry like that!”)
Make your child feel secure when you’re around by giving lots of love and attention. Young children will learn faster when they receive necessary attention and affection than by the parent's taking a “learn the hard way” attitude.
If intense separation anxiety lasts into higher grades, or beyond and interferes with your daily activities, it’s a good idea to discuss this with a psychologist. It may be a sign of a more rare but more serious condition known as separation
anxiety disorder.
Stress from separations and adjusting to new situations can be a real strain for parents and their little ones. However, with careful planning, the adjustment period can
be brief.
would love to hear comments for this post
Playschool has gained in popularity as more and more women have started venturing out to work in over the last few decades. As a mainstream option, it’s a fairly modern educational phenomenon.
Because of this, many parents themselves have never attended playschool and have directly stepped in kindergarten. But even if you did go, it’s likely that the memories are a bit fuzzy, leaving you with questions about what your child will encounter when he gets there.
What is Separation Anxiety?
The day finally arrives and instead of being enthusiastic as expected, your child has glued himself to your side, reluctant to enter the classroom. Your child refuses to go to school, crying and pleading, as you depart. He may feign illness, usually with complaints as, “My tummy aches”. Toddlers, and even some preschoolers, will display their fears of separation anxiety by becoming clingy, crying, vomitting and even a full-blown temper tantrum when a parent tries to leave.
Unfortunately, it fills a parent with a huge dose of guilt, feelings of helplessness and leaves both, children and the parent, exhausted. Dear parents, it is normal for children to sometimes feel anxious or apprehensive when separated from their parents. All children have what is called separation anxiety.
But, if your child is one who gets easily stressed, he might need more preparation in comparison with other kids. Sometimes some kids are perfectly at ease, cheerfully kissing goodbye on the first day, but on the second day they burst into tears as parents are leaving... Separation anxiety is also very common in nursery children when they join school after a long vacation break. It’s coined as school blues.
When Separation Anxiety starts:
Separation anxiety can start at 6 to 9 months, and can last through early toddler hood. It typically coincides, when baby understands the concept of object permanence.
Your baby has just distinguished himself as a separate person, and has learned to remember important people in his life, like his mom and dad. When mom and dad leave, he panics because he thinks they have disappeared. A toddler is not able to understand what the absence of a parent means. To a very small child, “out of sight” may be conceptualized as “gone forever”. According to Brenda Nixon, parenting speaker and author of Parenting Power in the Early Years, stranger anxiety and its cousin, separation anxiety, won’t last forever, but may continue to occasionally make an appearance for as long as five years. The good news is that it’s also a perfectly normal reaction that shows that your child is beginning to understand some very fundamental facts about his or her little world.
How can I prepare my child for school or deal with normal school blues?
Here are some easy to implement techniques:
If your child will soon head off to playschool and hasn’t been part of a group before, a little advance work will help pave the way. Introduce your child to crowds. Your child will be less intimidated by a raucous classroom, if he’s been exposed to noisy situations that are fun. Take him to a public garden, a swimming pool or any other place where he/she meets other kids.
Help him by creating a story about a little boy who goes to kindergarten. Start with, “Once upon a time there was a little boy who goes to school.” Mention in the story how mom takes him to the school, successfully finding his classroom. Weave into the story how the character in the story makes friends of his age and enjoys activities with a friendly teacher who will make him play.
A child is quick in sensing a parent’s mixed feelings regarding the separation. If you feel guilty about leaving your child, he may pick up signals of your own conflict or anxiety and aim his behaviour at controlling the situation instead of coping with it.
Try not to appear anxious in front of your child when you are leaving him. Children feed on their parents emotions. It’s imperative that as the parent, you stay assured and confident. If the child sees an upset parent, it will only heighten the child’s emotions.
With practice separations, tell your baby that you will be going to another room and that you’ll be back soon. If there’s crying, repeat the reassurance that you’ll be back soon. Then pop back in smiling and say, “Hello”. “Bye-bye”. Gradually make these practice separations longer and longer. The child will learn that you’ll come and that it’s okay when you are gone for a bit.
Try not to get annoyed by your child’s whining and clinging. Endure the tears and tantrums. The fact that your toddler makes such a fuss when you leave shows that she/he loves you. React with understanding and patience. (“I know you don’t want me to leave, but I will be back soon”) instead of stating (“Oh, you’re so silly to cry like that”) or annoyance (“You make me feel so mad when you cry like that!”)
Make your child feel secure when you’re around by giving lots of love and attention. Young children will learn faster when they receive necessary attention and affection than by the parent's taking a “learn the hard way” attitude.
If intense separation anxiety lasts into higher grades, or beyond and interferes with your daily activities, it’s a good idea to discuss this with a psychologist. It may be a sign of a more rare but more serious condition known as separation
anxiety disorder.
Stress from separations and adjusting to new situations can be a real strain for parents and their little ones. However, with careful planning, the adjustment period can
be brief.
would love to hear comments for this post