4 Variables That Dictate The Rules Of Using Facial Expressions

Did you know that our facial expressions are inborn, but are subtly influenced by our families and cultures? In addition, we humans are also relatively adept at controlling them. There are four reasons for us to do so:

1. Cultural Rules: Cultures dictate certain rules for facial expressions. For example, in our society, men are not supposed to show fear in public, and women should not show anger. Rules may vary. For instance, men are allowed to cry at funerals. But even funerals have a pecking order - at the memorial of a male boss who died suddenly, the female secretary should show less grief than the wife or she might suggest something improper about her relationship with him.

2. Personal Rules: Families may enforce idiosyncratic imperatives: "Never look angry," "Overplay every emotion," or "We're one big happy family."

3. Vocational Requirements: Actors, doctors, nurses, psychologists, lawyers, and politicians, among others, must manage their facial expressions to be successful at their jobs.

4. Needs of the Moment: Moment-to-moment requirements of particular situations that are not connected with your work may necessitate control of facial expressions. Consider, for example, staying cool while lying, or maintaining a poker face when you encounter your lover while you're with your spouse.

6 Ways To Control Listening Distractions

Distractions can destroy listening ability. We are surrounded by noise in the office and at home. We can be distracted by physical barriers, such as the placement of a desk or a seating arrangement in a group meeting, or internal distractions both at home and in the business place. If you are going to be an effective listener, you need to control both your external and internal environment.

1. At home, insist that the television, radio and stereo are turned off if there is to be a serious conversation.

2. Eliminate all noise that is distracting you from listening. If that is not possible, move to another room, close the door or do whatever is necessary to mute the noise or remove it.

3. Eliminate physical barriers or move to a different area so that the barriers do not get in the way of your listening.

4. Go into a listening situation with an open mind. Eliminate the internal distractions that you may have such as fear, worry, being unprepared, etc.

5. If you can't control the environment, reschedule or move to another environment.

6. If you're in charge of scheduling the meeting - family or business - chose a neutral environment to enhance listening and communication. Try to avoid "home turf," where one of the participants will have the emotional advantage.