Anger management: an explanation

Anger is a change in conduct to express that one should stop his/her behavior immediately and if he/she doesn’t, there may be a violent response. To show anger, animals make loud sounds, bare their teeth and stare. Humans also behave in similar manner when there are perceptional pains and decision to oppose is done.

Physical altercation without the prior expression of anger by least one of the participants is very rare. Because we have language, humans usually have written and verbal sources i.e. written threats and verbal insults. Hence we may not perceive immediately physical threat, but can feel pain psychologically.

Anger can arise without a direct physical threat and without the actual person is present. We have capacity to imagine the remote future; hence the threat of pain can come from our imagination. It may not be based on anything happening in the immediate present. Humans have some behavioral norms related to social survival.

If anybody does not follow these norms, other human’s anger arises e.g. not getting respect. This may break social or interpersonal safety rules. One may see that others are treated unfairly and have anger though he /she is not the sufferer. Hence, human beings experience anger empathetically.

 Sometimes anger may result in physical action or shouting loudly. Everyone gets angry. Many people will react very quickly to the perceived pain. It may happen that some lose their coolness and hit the roof.

The difficult part is learning what to do with these strong feelings.  Sometimes it is important to get angry. Children will understand their mistakes if teacher is angry with them. But anger must be released in proper way. It is one and the same thing like; steam gathering under the lid will blow the lid. If such things are happened it is not good for anyone.

Solution will not come by taking anger out on others. Instead of that if you admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure our why.  You can talk with someone like a parent, relative or teacher.

When you talk about your anger, those bad thoughts normally get vanished.

It is impossible that you will never get angry. But if you remember that how you act when you are angry will worsen or improve the situation, then you will not lose your control.

Causes of anger:

Anger is only an internal emotion but it causes external reactions. It is normal for any human to get anger. There are many causes for anger. Yet there are some persons who got angry easily for small reasons.

Some people soon get anger because they have the inner feeling that other people are disturbing their goals. This will make them more anger than normal people. Even a small action may cause anger to them because they will think that such action will spoil their dignity and status in the society. But remember any harsh words expressed in anger will spoil your image in the society.

Some people could not face any discomfort. Such things will make them angry. Anger may also be caused because the people think that they are too perfect and they got angry when they see any imperfection. The tendency to advice others how to behave or not to behave will be a major cause for anger.

If the other person uses any harsh words like bitch then any one will get angry easily. Everybody wants self esteem and they feel hurt when any one uses bad words to label them. It is the most common cause for anger all over the world.

Another important cause for anger is frustrated feeling. People get angry when they want something and they do not get it and get something which they do not want. Some may feel extreme anger when they fail to get something they definitely want to have.

Activating events can cause anger. If for example you want to listen news and your children are playing noisily then you will get anger. Some psychological causes can lead to anger. Tension, lack of humor sense etc may result in anger frequently. If you do not have problem solving efficiency then you will get anger soon.

Even though there are so many reasons for anger the two main causes are frustration and the feeling that others do not respect you. Our thoughts cause anger sometimes. We may misunderstand a person that he is not caring or respecting us. This will develop anger.

Even a rich man who has sufficient wealth and reputation can get angry if he loses sometimes. Although it will not affect his richness, he will get angry because the feeling that he has lost something makes him angry.

Some physical pain, alcohol, drugs, irritated feeling etc can cause anger. Even poor communication skill can cause anger. But remember the society consists of different varieties of persons.

We have to cope up with most people. So you need to manage anger.